The last week has been difficult... in many ways!
Not least because someone else that I know found my blog... and told one of my closest mates (who doesn't read it) and I whilst wouldn't have any issues with her reading it at all, that's two people in a few weeks. So I have removed a lot of posts - they are saved in draft form, and I can read them whenever, but I'm sorry, they are no longer accessible to anyone else. I'm having to take some serious decisions about writing a blog - and at the moment I can't think about it. And no - I don't care that the person who found me, has read it, although in a text conversation she did say, that once she realised it was me, she did back out.
My grandmother died at the end of last week. And whilst I am upset, she had dementia... for the last 3 years she has rarely recognised any of us. I have visited her and been all sorts of people - from her history, but also random people. The next to last time that I visited her, she recognised me, and remembered that I had a little boy... she asked to see a photo. It is a memory I shall carry with me.
The difficulties that are involved - my aunt has decided that she has to be cremated and we have to have a thanksgiving in the area that she grew up... down in Suffolk. My mum would have liked her to be cremated near here, where she was living, and then have a internment of the ashes and thanksgiving in Suffolk at a later date.
So I have to visit Suffolk, it's too long to travel in a day, plus the timing isn't great. I can't take boyo to the funeral, I can't leave him with anyone apart from M. If we had been here, I could have left him with friends or childminder for a few hours, but we can't do that. We are all going south, but only I can go to the cremation and thanksgiving service.
It's been difficult as my Mum (although it was my Dad's mum) has been arguing with my aunt about it. And my aunt has felt awful. On Wed I had texts and emails from both of them which I could not deal with, as I was trying hard to prepare my a level students for their exam. I nearly lost it at lunchtime when I received a text demanding that I phone my Mum immediately... I didn't, I went and had my lunch with some work friends and turned my phone off.
And this has been the story of my week - nothing simple, all high emotions and difficult decisions. And next week isn't promising to be a great deal better...more work than I know what to do with. A level exam on Wed, which means very stressed y13's on Tues. Gathering information that I want boyo's teacher to have for next year. Pre school committee meeting. And making sure that I have sorted out all the issues with taking a boy who doesn't deal with change to a hotel for a few nights!
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