I should have updated before... we've had a better week at school, boy-o has taken his chewy to school every day and he has been calmer and listened better. If only they had mentioned it earlier. He's also been sleeping better; and things have generally been calmer at home.
In other news; still no news from our social worker, I will be emailing her next week, all innocent like, just to say I'm concerned that we haven't had the form yet, and could it have been lost in the post.
In old news - I've remembered I'm not especially good at this point in the year. It was brought home to me because I'm working for a new head of year at school and every time he's seen me this week, he's asked if I'm ok.... the last two years I've worked for HoY's who knew why I don't do well and have just accepted it. I can't bring myself to explain, to someone who doesn't need to know why Feb is so hard; but I might just hide next week.
I can't help but remember that miscarriage. I allow myself some space at this time of year, it is my time to grieve, it is only now and an odd day in October when I let myself dwell.
It doesn't take away from what we've got. It doesn't alter how much I love our boy. I cannot tell you how much he has enriched our lives - and I've said many times before we are truly blessed by our boy. But... at this time of year my thoughts turn to those what might have beens.