Thank you for all your comments on my last post, I feel like things have improved over this week. Although we had an hour awake last night, it was mostly between 10 & 11 o'clock, so although I went to sleep late, at least my night wasn't very disturbed. We keep on hugging the boy, and telling him that it's okay. And we'll continue like this.
I am feeling better than I was earlier in the week as well.... although I fully expect it to unravel again. I was helped by having my Social worker validate how I was feeling, trapped and isolated. How when she had her first child she spent 6 months working towards getting her life back. And whilst I don't feel that I am missing my previous life too much at the moment; it was good to hear. She also asked how I felt about boy-o's social worker and could I talk to her, when I pulled a face, she arranged another visit next week. She spent about 45mins talking to me and playing with boy-o.
I got a text from a follow adoptive mum, someone that we met on our preparation course. She'd told me that the second day that her DH went back to work she was in tears. That made me feel better, because although I hadn't cried, I was wondering whether I could actually cope.
I had a visit from a friend on Thursday morning. We were out when she came, so she walked to meet us. We then took boy-o to the park and played on the swings and the slide. We then finally came home, and played outside in the back garden. All this meant that boy-o was relaxed by the time she left. She also has lots of experience of young boys, and therefore was able to say - 'it's okay, don't you remember when...'
I've felt like I've coped better these past couple of days.... I really do. It might have helped M had done a couple of late nights so that I could get more sleep. It's the weekend now, we are both here for the next two days. We'll see how we do next week.
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