Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Another meeting...

We met yesterday with the contact worker who supervised all boy-o's visits with his birth mother and eldest brother and sister. It was a useful experience, and we got some more photos including some of boy-o with his brother and sister.

The contact supervisor J.P. described boy-o as a lovely little boy, who is lively, mischievous and happy go lucky. She also commented that his brother and sister are nice natured. She doesn't think that boy-o has any attachment to his family, and although he enjoyed the visits, he would have enjoyed them if she'd sat and played with him for the time. He enjoyed being the centre of attention.

J.P. met boy-o's dad once, and supervised one contact meeting between them before his birth father died. She couldn't comment any more on him.

J.P. says that birth mother is really likable and has her own difficulties and has been taken advantage of in her life. J.P. thinks that birth mother loves and cares about her children but she herself is vulnerable and emotionally unready to cope with children. However she was good at changing boy-o's nappies, feeding him bottles and giving him baths when he was a young baby. Initially contact was 5 times a week, but that was reduced to 3 times a week, and then once a week. The reasons for the reduction was because birth mother has some illness and was unable to go to contact. There was a suggestion that not all the illness was genuine.

Birth mother's new husband has been to contact as well, and has been described as good with children. Both birth mother and husband have been easy for JP to work with; they haven't caused any problems. JP did say that she thinks birth mother has moved on with her life.

JP said that contact had been a happy time, shared within the family. Boy-o's birth mother was proud of his achievements, and his brother and sister were protective over boy-o. For example, when boy-o was learning to walk and kept toppling over his brother would rush over and pick him up. Boy's birth mother was proud when he managed to walk without problems.

-They spent time laughing over boy-o's healthy appetite and the fact that he will eat anything.
-Boy-o at one point bit his sister's shoulder, she was more upset that her brother had bitten her than actually physically hurt. It was something that was referred to on more than one occasion during contact.
-Boy-o broke JP and birth mother's necklaces when he was attracted to the shiny jewellery - that might be a lesson for me to learn!

Thursday, 13 January 2011

Meeting boy-o's foster parents...

We have spent 1hr30 with boy-o's foster parents today, and we got to hear a lot more about him. We still feel very lucky, very blessed and as if this is the child that is meant for us.

Boy-o was described as placid and easy going. He is however, lively, boisterous and clumsy. He is very caring and will often run up to his foster parents and give them a hug for no other reason than because he wants to. He apparently cries when he doesn't get his own way (sounds like he's entering the terrible twos). He has been known to hold his breathe in annoyance, but his foster mother says she just ignores it and he gives up.

He sounds like a problem solver. He will work something out, and just when his foster parent's think that they have stopped him doing something he will figure out a way around it. Apparently he loves fruit, and they have a fruit bowl in the middle of their table; boy-o figured out that if he pulled the table cloth he could get to the fruit bowl if he climbed on the chair.

He is usually a happy chap, but can get fractious when hungry. He eats virtually anything, although isn't so keen on porridge or rice pudding.

He is a climber; and loves going upstairs but isn't so keen on walking down them properly. We think that perhaps we will be getting 2 stair gates one for the top and one for the bottom of the stairs.

He doesn't have much wrong medically. He can get chesty after a cold, but in this house with two asthmatics we can deal with that. He is tongue tied which is possibly the reason that his speech isn't as clear as it should be. He develops and grows in spurts and then has a break, it's not a gradual development. He is up to date with his vaccinations. He has been known to get infections when he has cuts in his fingers, but foster mum doesn't believe in putting anything on cuts or covering them with a plaster - we may change that if he's going to get infections.

He presently attends Playgroup 3 times a week. He will have a go at anything, and really enjoys being around adults and children. He loves soft play centres, ball pools and slides. He has no real favourite toys, or TV programmes. However, he does have some toys that he will bring with him; which are his. His foster parent's have said that he will bring clothes, toys, his sippy cup and plates and cutlery with him. He has recently had some new shoes fitted, along with some boots.

He is well attached to his foster carers, and doesn't like being left in an unfamiliar situation. However, this could be because he has recently seen two other foster children been moved on, including one that had been in the home since boy-o arrived.

His foster parent's will obviously miss him when he moves, they describe him as 'a little cracker'. His foster father said that they'd said that if no suitable adopters could be found, they would have adopted him. This worried me slightly, until our Social worker phoned after we got home and said that they couldn't have adopted him as they live too close to where his mum lives, as well as being too old.

Our social workers view point is that he is well attached, and therefore as long as his foster parent's give him permission to trust us, there should be no problems with him moving. Panel is fixed for 21st Feb, and we are to meet boy-o on 28th Feb, slightly over 6 weeks to go.

We did come home and look around and think what we needed to do and move!

Monday, 3 January 2011


I wish I had something inspirational to post in my first post of 2011; but apparently inspiration has left me...

We've spent the time since getting back from my parents just being together and trying to sort bits out. I now have a chest of drawers nearly full of clothes for a little boy. My cousin and my friend have been very generous; and whilst I need to check sizes on some of them; my drawers are nearly full! We've also been given more toys.

Back to work tomorrow, for 7 weeks; and then hopefully my adoption leave starts. 7 weeks today we will know whether boy-o will be our son or not. 7 weeks today a group of people will decide our future. In the meanwhile we have to meet boy-o's foster parents and the medical advisor. Those two appointments are fixed. We also hope that to meet boy-o's mum's social worker and the agency contact supervisor.

We have a list of things that we need to do; things that we ought to do; and things that we'd like to do. Next weekend we start working through the list. But we also know that there are some things that we can't sort out until after we've met his foster parents.

I hope that your hopes and dreams are fulfilled in 2011! I hope that ours will be too.